Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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