i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
