Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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