How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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