How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
