he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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