Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
