Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
