Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
