You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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