No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
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I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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