Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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