so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize