But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
