Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
