im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
