Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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