I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
