I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
