I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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