well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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