I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
