I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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