you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize