so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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