Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
