How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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