Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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