you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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