Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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