As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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