So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
time to smoke my breakfast
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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