There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
How's work?
Spinning.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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