Sry I called you an 8
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You pole danced in your parka.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
