im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
