My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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