So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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