i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
