Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
