Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
