East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
