Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
