I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
