garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
