All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
