How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
