And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
