i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
