I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
