I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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