Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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