ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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