If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
