we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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