i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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