im drinking this country out of the recession.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
