Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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