Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
