That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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