Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
