This is not my ceiling
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
