So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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