like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
