I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
